The Entire Earth Will Be Destroyed

ManxRed · October 21, 2009

Justin is a nice lad, he's worked hard to get to this point of the competition. He needs to step up a gear and move to the next level. But he's singing a very difficult song/cooking a very difficult dish tonight, and believe me everyone, if he doesn't hit the high notes/ensure the duck breast is pink in the middle, then the VERY PLANET EARTH WILL EXPLODE AND MILLIONS OF AFRICAN BABIES WILL DIE A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH, YES, THIS IS DRAMA OF THE VERY HIGHEST LEVEL, THE AUDIENCE IS GRIPPED, EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER KNOWN OR CHERISHED DEAR TO US IS RIDING ON JUSTIN'S PERFORMANCE OVER THE NEXT THREE MINUTES, FECK, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IF HE DOESN'T HIT TOP C/DRESS THE SALAD PROPERLY.

No. We won't die. Nothing will happen. Stop being over-dramatic to try and hold viewers for your pathetic little shows.

The two biggest culprits of this are the X-Factor and Masterchef, but I'm sure there are others. Feck off Cowell/Minogue/Walsh/Cole and bloody Gregg Wallace and Michel Roux/John Torode. Its a singing competition/cooking competition. Millions of people in Asia will NOT starve to death if some plebby member of the public forgets the words to 'I Will Always Love You'/overcooks a fecking scallop.

Just feck off.

Nebraska Red · October 21, 2009

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