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Bloody Banks!

Duncan Disorderly

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A recent phone conversation...


Bank Clerk(BC); Hello, this is The National Bank of Italy, how can I help?

Caller©; I wish to change my account details.

BC; Can I have your account number?

C; (Gives details)

BC; Are you the account holder?

C; I am.

BC; Can I have your name?

C; The name on the account or the name I want to change it to?

BC; You wish to change the name of the account holder?

C; To be precise, my name has already changed. I need the account changed to my new name.

BC; Then we'll need to send the relevant form to your address.

C; I've changed my address as well.

BC; Will the mail not be forwarded?

C; Well, my old address is in Germany and now I'm in Italy and there could be considerable charges. Can you not just send them to my new address?

BC; What identification do you have?

C; Well, I have a rather distinctive hat and robe.

BC; Thats not really what I meant. Let's start with your name.

C; Old or new?

BC; Let's start with the old.

C; Joseph Ratzinger.

BC; What's the new name?

C; Benedict the 16th.

BC; And your title?

C; Pope.

BC; Right, Mr. Benedict Pope.

C; No, Pope Benedict the 16th.

BC; Look, just try and answer the questions one by one, shall we? Title?

C; Pope.

BC; It has to be Mr. Mrs. Miss. Ms. Dr. Prof. Sir or Rev.

C; It's Pope. Pope Benedict the 16th.

BC; I'll put you down as Rev. That's the closest. Address?

C; The Vatican, Vatican City.

BC; We'll need a letter from your employer, who would that be?

C; God Almighty.

BC; Well if that's your attitude Mr. 16th, we can do without your business. Good Day!

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