some jokes!

[Ragnor the Horn]

BRAVE MAN JOKES.....

> >

> > How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

> >> Marry It!

> >>

> >> What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

> >> A battery has a positive side.

> >>

> >> What are the three fastest means of communication?

> >> 1) Internet

> >> 2) Telephone

> >> 3) Telawoman

> >>

> >> How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

> >> They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

> >>

> >> How do you p*ss off a female archaeologist??

> >> Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.

> >>

> >> How is a woman like a condom?

> >> Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your di * k.

> >>

> >> What should you give a woman who has everything?

> >> A man to show her how to work it.

> >>

> >> Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?

> >> Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there.

> >>

> >> How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

> >> Put a nipple on it.

> >>

> >> Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

> >> Because they don't have balls to scratch.

> >>

> >> Why did God create woman ?

> >> To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

> >>

> >> Why do women fake orgasms ?

> >> Because they think men care.

> >>

> >> What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

> >> Nothing, she's been told twice already.

> >>

> >> If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?

> >> Made her chain too long

> >>

> >> How many men does it take to open a beer?

> >> None. It should be opened when she brings it.

> >>

> >> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

> >> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

> >>

> >> Why do women have smaller feet than men?

> >> It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

> >>

> >> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

> >> When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

> >>

> >> How do you fix a woman's watch?

> >> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

> >>

> >> Why do men pass gas more than women?

> >> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

> >>

> >> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

> >> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

> >>

> >> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

> >> A woman who won't do what she's told

> >>

> >> I married a Miss Right.

> >> I just didn't know her first name was Always.

> >>

> >> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive

> >> by 90%.

> >> It's called a Wedding Cake.

> >>

> >> Why do men die before their wives?

> >> They want to.

> >>

> >> Women will never be equal to men...

> >> until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

> >>

> >> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

> >> Then God created Man and rested.

> >> Then God created Woman.

> >> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[charlie clown]

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[Duncan Disorderly]

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