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This is straight out of The Onion.

 

Britain?s most expensive state school is being built without a playground because those running it believe that pupils should be treated like company employees and do not need unstructured play time?We are not intending to have any play time," said Alan McMurdo, the head teacher. "Pupils won?t need to let off steam because they will not be bored? McMurdo said refreshments, often taken in break periods at other schools, could be drunk during the school day?[Pupils] will be able to hydrate during the learning experience," he said?Delap, who has run the academy project on behalf of its sponsor, Perkins Engines, and the Deacon school trust, said that playgrounds did not fit into the concept

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