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Went to a wedding this weekend

anny road

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Firstly...I drove straight down after coming back from Anfield......the wedding being (unusually) on a Sunday.....picking the wife and son up and heading straight down.....Arrived at the hotel at about half seven......we went for a meal at an italian round the corner, and our return to the hotel jayne said she was going to bed as Sam was knackered, and it was only likley to be the lads out in the hotel bar as the bride was staying elswhere.....i go for a piss, and on my way into the bar, which was more like a little night club, a bloke stopped me and said "Is this the Turner wedding?"......Now that threw me a little as it was the ight before, but yes I was attending the Turner wedding....I looked behind him and it hit me striaght away....he had his wife, three kids with him and they were dressed to the nines and had presents with them...they obviousoly thought the wedding was on the Saturday...!!! "Erm....I'll just go and get Ste...." i said and ran into the bar...People saw me and were coming over saying there hello's, but I was intent on finding the Groom to be......Eventually I located him, leathered, after being on the pop all afternoon......I told him what had just happened and he went white as a ghost..looked out through the doors to see the said family stood in the hotel reception......"f***" he said "They live in Brighton"........it comes to pass that the evening invites had no daton them!!!.....Three sets of people turned up on the wrong night.,....two ended up in the wedding that was taking place that evening, and the family from Brighton had booked themselves in the hotel for the evening, at £100.00 a throw..........


Secondly, Me and family come down for breakie to be greeted by one of the best men....he had two!!....In a right panic..."Dave, i've f***ed up!"....oh s***, i thought.....i bet he has lost the rings or something.."I have bought this suit from Marks and Spencers, and it has still got the security tag on.."......."No problem" I say "there is a M&S on the high street, I passed it last night....go in there and get them to take it off.....either that or whack it off yourself, it cant be that difficult"........."Already been to the M&S and it is a food outlet, so I asked the woman on customer service whats the best was to get the tag off, after looking at it she said I have n chance as it is one that has ink in it and if he takes it off it will go everywhere...."


So the best man spent all the service, with his back to the congregation with a big f*** off security tag on the back of his suit.......Looks like he has robbed the f*****!!!



Finally, the same best man, not content with looking like a theif with a security tag on his jacket, decides to dig a f***ing great hole during his speech.....He told the story of how a few of us went to London once for the weekend, and Ste got offered a load of skunk for a knockdown rate.......excited he bought it, we went back to his mates falt where we were staying to skin up......He had never skinned uo in his life so he left it to me whilst he had a piss...I put my nose into the bag and it was obviously not any illegal substance, but in fact herbal tea...........For the bext few days we let Ste smoke away and get stoned......or so he thought......it was as funny as f***.....but the type of material for a best mans speech? I think not........Her faily were mortified as she was...one of the guests walked out in disgust...I almost pissed my pants :D

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