Female Penguins

[Guest Kev]

You lead the male penguins on for a bit of nookie, then as soon as you've dropped the egg you piss off back to sea with all the other female penguins leaving the daddy penguin to look after the egg for 2 months

 

The dad is stood on the ice for two f***ing months, balancing the egg on his feet, he can't eat, he can't drink, he can't go down the penguin pub or nothing, just sit there on the ice whilst the mum goes f***ing penguin shopping, and penguin bingo like there's nothing to f***ing worry about. WHAT ABOUT YOUR FECKING PENGUIN BABY EGG you lazy selfish f***ing penguin bitch.

 

Then after two months holiday with your penguin bitch friends and going to Penguin Institute Meetings you decide to have a look at your baby penguin. For f***s sake, it's the daddy penguin that has taken care of it whilst you've been f***ing swimming and eating and you don't even bring them a f***ing present when you arrive.

 

I am so f***ing pissed off with you I'm going to pop into Asda on the way home and buy a green pack of biscuits (red are male ones, green are females) and eat the whole f***ing lot and I am going to enjoy every f***ing bite so f***ing lazy penguin bitches - HAVE THAT.

[Guest Jack Bauer]

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[SkippyjonJones]

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[Andy Mac]

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