My Team to Wrestle Chelsea

May 1, 2007

GOAL

Pepe Superfly Snukka

Superfly Pepe Reinne will show us some poneering arial acrobatics. And is unlikley to conceed unless smashed over the heard with a coconut by a rowdy scottsman

DEFENCE

Stone Cold Steve Finnan

Stone cold will celebrate with his customary beer celebration after the match

Macho Dan Randy Agger

Macho Dan will be shouting “Oooooo Yeeeeah” after the match and donning his neon cowboy hat and opposingly coloured boots before flying of to be interviewed by Arsenio Hall on cable tv.

Jamie - The Rock - Carragher

Business as usual for The Rock tonight, a raised eyebrow is as close as chelsea will come to seeing jamie with a furrowed brow. And that will be after he slots home in the shoot out.

Rowdy Riiser Piper

The only bag pipes JA will be playing tonight are when he’s busking outside the stadium with the generous anfield faithfull all wishing to congratulate him on a goal scored from stamord bridge. John has been running to Anfield from Stamford bridge since the final whistle blew on on the first leg of this tie, Expect John to release a fierce shot from Manchester about 7 minutes before kick off.

MIDFIELD

Jermain The Steamboat Dragon Pennant

Is he half asian, I don’t know. But what I do know is that Pennant was trained by a Bruce Lee Box Set of DVD’s in the art of knocking opponents out with one sucker punch from six inches.

Xabishing Alsono Rude

Lets face it, If Xabi wanted to be a pop star, a model or an astronaught he could walk and go straight to the top. But he’s decided to stay at Anfield and woo the ladies with his looks and the male fans with his 90 yard goals and 92 yard passes.

The Junk Yard Sissoko

Born in a field and raised as a guard dog, JYS still has his first bowl, which he uses as a guide for his hairdressers. Legend has it that Sissoko once ran home to Mali from Anfield after a match, just to tape the highlights.

Stevie Hulkster Gerrard

Jose “what are ya gonna do when all the little Stevamaniacs are running wild on you?” Captain Balistic is sure to win us a penalty against the Chavs...... How you ask?..... Easy! by running into the six yard ring and tearing his own shirt off. That’s how tough guy!

FOWARDS

Craig The Snake Bellamy

Here’s a guy that will stop at nothing to win, no trick in the book is to dirty. Chelsea can expect Craig to enter the ring carrying an assortment of snakes and forigen objects. This is the man who invented the DDT!.... one word from Terry and The Snake will DDT him into the concrete and crack his skull in the process.

Crouchy The Giant

Seven Foot Five, 550 Pounds (in his pocket). Crouchy The Giant. 8th wonder of the world! He dances like a robot stars in beasty boys videos as godzilla when not wearing the red of liverpool. Recently stared in a hollywood remake of King Kong as “unseen big brother”.

SUBS

Dirkultimate Warriror

A raging dutch mad man, will probably snap the bench in half and eat the chelsea subs if not brought on at half time.

Sami The Hitman Hypia

Fresh from a cracking goal at the weekend, The Big Finn will be ready to crack heads on Tuesday night should the need arise.

Robbie ‘Flair’

Space Mountain may be the oldest ride in the Park, but its got the longest que.... Woooooooooooooooo. Custom Made is in the house.

MANAGER

The Million Dollar Manager..... Rafa DiBenitez.

Every Body has a Price. mwha wha wha wha......... everybody except Rafa that is, thats why real Madrid have been sent packing with their filthy money.

Edited May 1, 2007 by Greasy Belcher

Smith · May 1, 2007

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