Poser, poseur...

Scally the Wag · September 1, 2006

Recognise the scene?

Social gathering, probably a pub - upper room, tv on for footy match, decent gathering with drinks and food, lots of old mates meeting up and a few outsiders/cyber mates being introduced... and then Poseur SinSan arrives.

Ignores all eye contact, consciously takes up position in centre of room, carefully crafted fag in one hand, drink in t'other, looks very intently at screen (especially during the commentator babble-crap pre-game) and ignores all polite attempts to say hello...

Indeed, won't respond until a small group start talking about him - just the way he wants. Centre of attention and all that stuff...

Met another one recently. No charisma, all contrived: a triumph of form over substance.

I tried to elicit the occupation and was informed that he worked for "a major investment bank". Well, thinks I, so major that you can't name it? As it happens, I have worked for J Henry Schroeder-Wag, The British French Bank, Citicorp Scringemour Vickers Da Costa and Swiss Bank Corporation in my time... But I'm also able to table the fact that the first two appointments were as a 16-y-o messenger in London, and the latter two as a tutor to help the analysts write their reports.

A careful gathering of selected friends (old students) around Poseur SinSan left him talking about his 'important position' infront of lead salesmen and analysts from Merill Lynch, Morgan Stanley & J P Morgan. It was the man from Merill that done him though when I asked about derivatives trading and the mathematical modelling they use. As the calculus flowed, it turned out that Poseur SinSan worked (past tense) in an ordinary high street branch of HSBC and did some paperwork for the manager. It then went very silent when the Mrs breezed through and pointed out that as Merill man in his first year on the desk had got a 33 month bonus he should be buying the drinks... Poseur SinSan vacated the centre of the room and, I think, left early.

Best put down I've seen in yonks and thoroughly enjoyable too. And if he ever took a drag on one of his cigarettes, it must have been when I blinked.

Total A4

slapnuts · September 1, 2006

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