Very Close Shave

[Buzz]

Young lad in my team at work (Rob - a Chelsea fan) came back from holiday on Friday, normally would have let him have the Friday off as well, but we had a big support contract finishing and he agreed to come in just in case. Am I glad he did.

I took him out to grab a coffee and fill him in on what had happened while he was off and decided to get some Brunch to take back to the office, then I could eat at work and pop off to the comic shop at lunch time. Meatball and Mozzarella ciabatta, a pay day treat, I sat down at my desk and tucked in. Rob asked me something so I swallowed some of the food and went to answer him but couldn't. The half of mozzarella I had swallowed was still attached to the half still in my mouth. I couldn't breath in, or out, I couldn't talk or shout and I started choking!.

Half of the office was bemused, the other half was looking at me as if to say "be quiet/stop being stupid." I looked at Rob gesturing for him to smack me on the back, but he offered me a drink( ), I gestured again and he started smacking me on the back, but not hard or anything and still I was choking. I was trying to lookover my shoulder and gesture a good punch or something, at which point his jaw dropped and he belted me on the back twice. The second punch winded me a bit forcing some air I didn't think I had left out my lungs which moved the cheese up my throat a bit, so I grabbed at the stretched bit, thinking I could pull it up, but all it did was stretch even more. All of a sudden, another punch I wasn't expecting really koncked the last bit of air out of me bringing the cheese further up where I just managed to grab with two fingers and drag it out.

Afterwards loades of people came forward and said they knew the himelick maneover(?) etc, but none of the feckers where interested in helping out at the time. Rob said he didn't want to thump me so he slapped my back, but when I looked at him my head was a red blue colour, so he panicked and lumped me hard a couple of times. I think I knew they were comming so was a braced for them, but the last one I didn't know was comming and winded me a bit doing the trick.

So I owe Rob my life, he is a good mate, and I won't have a go at him about Chelsea so much any more.

I have learnt to take my time with my food and that I wouldn't be any good as a gay pornstar.

So take yer time with yer lunch fellas, its not just boild sweets and fishbones that can get ya.