Feckin hell, have a go hero me

[Spike]

Was just out back locking up and I heared a scream, then some shouting, so I paused, another scream. I waited for few moments and heard a weaker moaning sound, and some more shouting. Then a door slammed.

 

Having gauged that it wasn't just some pissheads sounds drifting in from town i locked up, grabbed an 8 inch kitchen knife and went and stood in the middle of my street, a*** twitching, having a look around to see what lights were on.

 

Thinking that I may make a great t*** of myself but judging that it's better to act than not I went and knocked on my next door bit one's house who's light was on.

 

So the man of the house opened up and I told him what I'd heard.

 

Turns out that his missus had fallen over the step whilst getting in from a night out pissed up and they were making the noise.

 

Silly c****.

 

They thanked me for being a vigilant neighbour though, and that in the event of such a situation I have some nice kitchen knives at my disposal.

 

f*** me, my lungs were reet going.

 

f***ing overacting dramatic neighbour c****.

[stressederic]

Of course your neighbour is now breathing a sigh of relief that he managed to come up with a half decent excuse that would send you home.

 

Now he's free to go to his back garden and bury the body in secrecy.

[Gunga Din]

Nosey c***

[fyds]

Always the best thing to stand up and be counted in such a situation Chris - well done mate!

 

Always the best thing to down another curry and a special brew in such a situation Wayne - well done mate!

[Michael]

I just saw on Ceefax that police are combing the area after a woman was reported screaming and a man was seen in the middle of the street with an eight inch carving knife. Apparently he was shaking with anger. Residents have been warned not to approach him..............

 

 

Seriously, it was good of you to do something. It could have been someone in trouble.

[Gunga Din]

Always the best thing to stand up and be counted in such a situation Chris - well done mate!

 

Always the best thing to down another curry and a special brew in such a situation Wayne - well done mate!

 

 

i dont drink Special brew.

apart from that the rest is spot on

[fyds]

i dont drink Special brew.

apart from that the rest is spot on

I didn't think you did mate - just couldn't bring myself to type 'Babycham'

[Spike]

worst bit was i lost me keys after locking up and after turning the house upside down i found them in my a*** pocket.

 

Always the best thing to stand up and be counted in such a situation Chris - well done mate!

 

Always the best thing to down another curry and a special brew in such a situation Wayne - well done mate!

 

 

Have a go to the toilet heroes to a man

[fyds]

Have a go to the toilet heroes to a man

That'll be what the screams where then!