Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys

[Guest Jack Bauer]

He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

[Spike]

YOOO KERAZZEEE MAN!

[Guest Jack Bauer]

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

[Spike]

Spike Starski cures cancer and teases governments with his formula whilst secretly giving the cure for free to every hospital in the world

[Guest Jack Bauer]

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

 

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

 

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

[fyds]

Were your keys up your harris?