Going for a sh*te...

[scoose]

One of me mates once had a s***e and he said it was like churchills ashtray

Our kid said one he had was like throwing a pigeon through a fan

Edited May 17, 2021 by scoose

[charlie clown]

My grandad used to say "I'm going to see auntie" whenever he went for his morning dump.

I like 'brown dogs barking at the back door' when I'm ready for a sit down.

[RBM]

Firing a Gareth out of the South Gate 

[Cobs]

Release the Kraken

[DPD1973]

Heading off for a Donald Trump (dump)

Edited May 17, 2021 by DPD1973

[Senrab_nhoj]

18 hours ago, DPD1973 said:

Heading off for a Donald Trump (dump)

Thanks for the explanation I may never have got that 

[Rex Ham]

Off for a Brad.

[Benzo-13]

8 minutes ago, Rex Ham said:

Off for a Brad.

Yeah that’s the one I say.. going for a Barry..

[Ostrich Man]

8 hours ago, Rex Ham said:

Off for a Brad.

Brad? 

Bradley walsh? 

[Barnesy_10]

3 minutes ago, Ostrich Man said:

Brad? 

Bradley walsh? 

Nah... Brad Jones

 

s***e

[Ostrich Man]

Brad friedel (through the eye of a needle) 

[Rex Ham]

Bit more route 1, Pitt.

[Tobes Rafa]

15 hours ago, Ostrich Man said:

Brad friedel (through the eye of a needle) 

Ha, made me laugh that. 

I've never really understood the eye of a needle thing. It's to describe having the s***s right. I dunno about everyone else but when I have the s***s it would go everywhere but through the eye of the f***ing needle. 

[Rex Ham]

13 minutes ago, Tobes Rafa said:

Ha, made me laugh that. 

I've never really understood the eye of a needle thing. It's to describe having the s***s right. I dunno about everyone else but when I have the s***s it would go everywhere but through the eye of the f***ing needle. 

Have you ever had an endoscopy? The stuff you take to clear your bowels the previous night comes out like a f**in hosepipe. 

[Bootser]

As someone who is no stranger, unfortunately, to all types of xxxoscopys I can confirm Rex Ham’s description of the evacuation following said medicine. I could feel myself lift off the toilet seat as I blasted off. 

My personal favourite is “I just had a s*** like a Gorilla’s finger. Nice. 

[Ripley]

“Could have painted the walls with it” used to be a description of a loose evacuation. 

[Nebraska Red]

Just pebble dashed the toilet bowl.

Courtesy flush.

[charlie clown]

I fella I used to work with used to say "Flock of sparrows" when he had an explosive dump that splattered all the bog bowl. 

Edited July 30, 2021 by charlie clown

[Ripley]

Draught Bass, apparently still brewed but better, used to be known as bowl varnish.

[scoose]

churchills ashtray

Like throwing a pigeon through a fan

[Tommok]

No idea why he was asked about it but I remember reading an interview with Will-i-am and he was strongly advocating the use of moist toilet wipes by saying something like "would you ever try cleaning up melted chocolate from the carpet with a dry cloth?" 

It's an enduring image. 

[charlie clown]

Makes you wonder if he has some kind of shag-pile a***.

[muleskinner]

Like a broken radiator 

[Tommok]

24 minutes ago, charlie clown said:

Makes you wonder if he has some kind of shag-pile a***.

Yeah really makes you think doesn't it. Unfortunately. 

[charlie clown]

In which case, why wet wipes and not a hoover?