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Tell you who/what I hate...

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Sorry to hear that mate - what a hopeless system - not geared to help anyone really. Yeah it's infuriating. The clapping and sending cards to Colonel Tom stuff is winding me up, probably m

Bit rude

We've always given you this

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This. There's somone in our work who does this, I mean, there's a f***in puddle in front of the bowl at times. WTF is that about? I wouldn't like to imagine what their keks smell like!

How do they manage it? Is the force of pressure that high that their penis is flailing around like a loose hosepipe?

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I came across this the other day. I panicked and thought the next person in would think it was me so used sh*tloads of paper towels to mop it up, ensuring I never actually touched any wetness.


Nobody walked in during this process thankfully, as it dawned on me later that mopping it up made it look even more like I'd done it.

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I'm stealing this off Bigal a bit, but old uncool people who say things are 'cool' and 'funky', and people who call bodywarmers gilets. Usually the same people actually.


The bloke who does my mum's garden calls himself 'funky wellies' for no reason whatsoever, he doesn't even wear garish wellies.

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I hate weird dreams and they don't come any weirder than the one I had last night, vivid and weird, it felt so real I woke up thinking about it.


I had to capture and then strangle a ginger cat because he was in ISIS.





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