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So then, getting divorced...


Kahnee

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Leo and Raj I know well, I've never met Zoob. But I'm pleased you are able to express your thoughts, I have no doubt doing so on here will help you get through the process and I personally wish you all the very best. You too Vic.

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As an aside, divorced  / separated parents are so common, I do think this will make things a bit easier on the kids. And my 6 yr old currently has a friend round whose mom and dad recently split up largely because the dad became a woman. so this poor kid has gone from a mom and dad living together to 2 moms living apart... 

 

Leo and Raj I know well, I've never met Zoob. But I'm pleased you are able to express your thoughts, I have no doubt doing so on here will help you get through the process and I personally wish you all the very best. You too Vic.

 

Thanks Murph

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  • 2 weeks later...

Picked up keys for my new flat today, but not moving out until Thursday. Telling our kids tomorrow . 

 

My wife has actually been really good about it. Very sad - as am I - but no fighting or arguing. Infact, she's been caring and thoughtful about so much, that it's kind of frustrating, because that's all I really wanted her to be in our marriage. 

 

Money is gonna be tight, as I'll be paying my rent and the mortgage on the house, but the flat I got is only 5 minutes walk from my house, which is great. Got a top floor corner unit too, which is nice. Weird - have lived in my current house for 9 years, which is the longest I've lived in any one place. 

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Picked up keys for my new flat today, but not moving out until Thursday. Telling our kids tomorrow . 

 

My wife has actually been really good about it. Very sad - as am I - but no fighting or arguing. Infact, she's been caring and thoughtful about so much, that it's kind of frustrating, because that's all I really wanted her to be in our marriage. 

 

Money is gonna be tight, as I'll be paying my rent and the mortgage on the house, but the flat I got is only 5 minutes walk from my house, which is great. Got a top floor corner unit too, which is nice. Weird - have lived in my current house for 9 years, which is the longest I've lived in any one place. 

 

 

A friend of mine went through this a few years back, he still refers to The Sopranos scene when Tony left. It's going to be tough Zoob but you know that. However, on reflection he tells me renting a flat five minutes away from his house was the best move he made, the kids could come around whenever the liked and this helped them get through it, at the end he being a far better cook than his ex made their tea most nights. Fifteen years on he's remarried, has a wonderful relationship with his children and still visits his elderly ex father in law regularly to keep an eye on him. The only sad bit is his ex resents him big time, probably because she didn't find anybody else but his only regret is dragging it on for as long as he did, he is truly happy now with two sets of Grandkids. Good luck Zoob.

Edited by Murphman
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Mate, I dont even know where to begin with this. But suffice to say there are some very stark similarities between your wife and my partner.

I'm in the exact same position as yourself, but looks as though I will be going my own way. Hardest thing for me is the fact that I will be apart from my daughter who is nearly 3. Im alright the majority of the time when I am not with her, but the rest of the time at home with her I feel f***ing depressed.

Hey Raj - missed this, so sorry you are going through the same kind of sh*t! Hope I can see you pre City game, we can compare notes! Take care mate.

Picked up keys for my new flat today, but not moving out until Thursday. Telling our kids tomorrow .

 

My wife has actually been really good about it. Very sad - as am I - but no fighting or arguing. Infact, she's been caring and thoughtful about so much, that it's kind of frustrating, because that's all I really wanted her to be in our marriage.

 

Money is gonna be tight, as I'll be paying my rent and the mortgage on the house, but the flat I got is only 5 minutes walk from my house, which is great. Got a top floor corner unit too, which is nice. Weird - have lived in my current house for 9 years, which is the longest I've lived in any one place.

Best of luck Zoob, really hope things work out for the best for you. It sounds like you are making the right decision, and pretty soon I will no doubt be treading the same path. It’s just scary isn’t it? Even though I know it’s right.

 

And you are right on there being something Molby - the condition that fits is ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder’. She really does have every single trait, but someone of that type makes you doubt yourself all the time and that has been true with me. It’s taken me a couple of years to really break it down and accept (because part of me always knew) that the way she treats me is really wrong, but I’m getting there now. I feel pretty stupid for allowing a lot of it, if I’m really honest. It’s f*cked up how you can end up in such a place, you kind of sleepwalk into it.

Edited by Leo No.8
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I know of a gigantic Chinese restaurant (and Korean) a minute from Central Station, where the food is unusually decent and the seating is comfortable and generous, making for much mirth and bonhomie

it can of course be treated as a bar as well, although there are big (big, not 'good') bars just steps away

 

is this of interest? of course we always win when we go to the usual place  but let's be wary of the correlation and causation trap

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I know of a gigantic Chinese restaurant (and Korean) a minute from Central Station, where the food is unusually decent and the seating is comfortable and generous, making for much mirth and bonhomie

it can of course be treated as a bar as well, although there are big (big, not 'good') bars just steps away

 

is this of interest? of course we always win when we go to the usual place  but let's be wary of the correlation and causation trap

 

Staying at The Liner so being near Lime Street is good not least because my lad can stay in the hotel bar and watch the earlier game if he doesn't fancy drinking with us and taking in our outstanding wit and intelligence? Not sure about a Chinese restaurant at lunchtime G, but in for a penny and all that......

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Understandable you didn't want to be stuck with Leo

Haha! ;)

Haha, I f*cking love Leo.

Cheers mate - right back atcha! :thumbs:

Have just seen this thread for the first time in ages, I hope you are all doing ok, Raj, Leo, Barnsey, Vic, Zoobs and anyone else I have forgotten.

 

Good luck all and I hope it all works out well.

Thanks mate - I think as for many people on here, it feels better when you are able to share, and understand other people are going through the same stuff.

All good mate. I’m moving forward so light at the end of the tunnel

Glad to hear that Raj, good luck mate.

 

I feel like I’m ready to now as well.

 

I have accepted that I can’t change who she is. I don’t blame her, it’s just the way she is wired.

 

I have been trying to negotiate and reason with someone who is completely without empathy (to the point that she actually is incapable of expressing or demonstrating it) for years and I haven’t made the slightest impression. If I’m trying to reach 100 it’s literally still at zero.

 

It’s a losing battle. Just have to accept defeat.

Edited by Leo No.8
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