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Differences between generations


DPD1973

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Whats changed in a generation, is it easier/harder to bring up your kids than it was for your parents to bring up you. What were the problems your parents faced and are they the same ones you're facing? Whats the best/worst thing about bringing up kids in the UK in 2013?

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Technology is the huge difference, and it's both a good thing and a bad thing when bringing up kids....For example, we now have a DVD player in our car. In a way it's fantastic, like when we're on long trips. But it's also an absolute pain in the ass, since it can lead to arguments, and also the assumption that a 10 minute trip to the supermarket means 10 minutes of watching a movie. I survived my childhood just fine without DVD players in the car....

 

Technology also means my kids can video chat with my parents, so establish something of a relationship even though we're thousands of miles apart. When I was growing up, my two sets of grandparents lived in different countries, so I'd often go years without seeing or speaking to them.

 

I think ultimately I face similar challenges that my parents (any many parents) have - where is the best place to live in order to bring up kids, while also offering something for us? For me, I don't think that place could ever be the UK again, but then the US obviously has a whole raft of its own horrific problems....

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Technology is the obvious massive difference - and I agree it can be both good and bad. Used, i.e. monitored/controlled effectively (and that probably means, for example, not allowing the DVD player to go for a 10 minute car journey :lol:). People quickly become slaves to technology, kids especially as they are growing up with incredible technology as part of their normal life.

 

Major fears in bringing up kids would be the usual - deteriorating public services (the health service specifically, in my opinion), education, housing (how to ever be able to afford to buy a house), getting a job, increasingly expensive cost of living ... all the usual really.

 

And drugs.

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I worry about their lack of street wisdom a fair amount, but to some degree I think that is less important than it used to be for me as a kid. I hope that is the case anyway.

 

I think their work ethic is lacking too. But then again, they all seem to have to be so programmed for success now. Make sure you play a sport (and God forbid a parent ever even missing a single minute of watching them play), play an instrument, do volunteer service, and make sure you absolutely to incredible with your studies. It just all seems so calculated. Plus, we as parents worry so much about all of it.

 

My parents seemed to be so much more laissez faire about everything, and maybe that's because they didn't expect much. I can't recall my old man ever watching me play rugby or football at all but I never really give a sh*t whether he did to be honest. Grades? Never checked. Talk about my future? Only when I wanted to join the Foreign Legion did that come up and that was to say that it was a good idea (it wasn't).

 

The bottom line is that we are far more involved in our kids lives now and we're terribly paranoid about it all. I don't advocate going back to the attitude of the 70's for parents, but I do think we've gone a bit too far now. My 18 year old son is living in London this year and is in Amsterdam for the weekend. My wife is a f*cking basket case about it and I just don't see the need to worry.

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I worry about their lack of street wisdom a fair amount, but to some degree I think that is less important than it used to be for me as a kid. I hope that is the case anyway.

 

I think their work ethic is lacking too. But then again, they all seem to have to be so programmed for success now. Make sure you play a sport (and God forbid a parent ever even missing a single minute of watching them play), play an instrument, do volunteer service, and make sure you absolutely to incredible with your studies. It just all seems so calculated. Plus, we as parents worry so much about all of it.

 

My parents seemed to be so much more laissez faire about everything, and maybe that's because they didn't expect much. I can't recall my old man ever watching me play rugby or football at all but I never really give a sh*t whether he did to be honest. Grades? Never checked. Talk about my future? Only when I wanted to join the Foreign Legion did that come up and that was to say that it was a good idea (it wasn't).

 

The bottom line is that we are far more involved in our kids lives now and we're terribly paranoid about it all. I don't advocate going back to the attitude of the 70's for parents, but I do think we've gone a bit too far now. My 18 year old son is living in London this year and is in Amsterdam for the weekend. My wife is a f*cking basket case about it and I just don't see the need to worry.

 

I kind of agree with you here, communication is so much easier and instant that you can see where and what they are up to minute by minute almost which can lull you into a false sense of security possibly. That said I'm sure when my 2 girls start going out and about I will be fairly uptight.

 

I left home at 17, really hope my 2 don't.

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:lol:

 

Well, people who have kids can't possibly know what it's like not to have kids, since there was never any point in their lives when they didn't have kids. Oh, hold on, that's not right. Ah, I know - it's that people without kids have a better understanding of what it's like to have kids than those that do actually have kids. Darn, that doesn't work either. :hmm:/>/>/>

 

Anyway, I think the human entity formerly known as JAR has been replaced by a fairly advanced, but ultimately flawed troll-bot.

Edited by Zoob
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The need for permanent access to the internet is maddening at times. My oldest is 15yo and he spends so much time online, alot of it doing homework which is required to be done , and submitted, online. This leads to distractions and too much time on the likes of Facebook and Minecraft.

 

Getting them to go outside and get some fresh air is almost impossible. It's a good job we have a dog that they can walk, or I think both my boys would be happy to stay indoors.

 

Yes it's great to know where they are, but just once or twice, I would like a conversation rather than a bloody text message.

 

Things were simpler when I was a kid, I was happy playing footy all the time, until I was old enough to hit the pub (at about 15yo!!) Now, I'd have a fit if my 15yo was find drinking a beer or smoking a cig.

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I worry about their lack of street wisdom a fair amount, but to some degree I think that is less important than it used to be for me as a kid. I hope that is the case anyway.

 

I think their work ethic is lacking too. But then again, they all seem to have to be so programmed for success now. Make sure you play a sport (and God forbid a parent ever even missing a single minute of watching them play), play an instrument, do volunteer service, and make sure you absolutely to incredible with your studies. It just all seems so calculated. Plus, we as parents worry so much about all of it.

 

My parents seemed to be so much more laissez faire about everything, and maybe that's because they didn't expect much. I can't recall my old man ever watching me play rugby or football at all but I never really give a sh*t whether he did to be honest. Grades? Never checked. Talk about my future? Only when I wanted to join the Foreign Legion did that come up and that was to say that it was a good idea (it wasn't).

 

The bottom line is that we are far more involved in our kids lives now and we're terribly paranoid about it all. I don't advocate going back to the attitude of the 70's for parents, but I do think we've gone a bit too far now. My 18 year old son is living in London this year and is in Amsterdam for the weekend. My wife is a f*cking basket case about it and I just don't see the need to worry.

 

f***ing hell, they couldn't wait to get rid of you!

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Well, people who have kids can't possibly know what it's like not to have kids, since there was never any point in their lives when they didn't have kids. Oh, hold on, that's not right. Ah, I know - it's that people without kids have a better understanding of what it's like to have kids than those that do actually have kids. Darn, that doesn't work either. :hmm:/>/>/>/>

 

Anyway, I think the human entity formerly known as JAR has been replaced by a fairly advanced, but ultimately flawed troll-bot.

I think the point is that quite a few parents seem to think the act of procreation gives them a unique insight into human nature, behaviour and development, as well as a smug and sanctimonious attitude to those who don't have kids. Oh, and a sense of entitlement. A fair few parents seem to lose their entire sense of proportion, maybe it's to do with a lack of sleep...

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