'James Coburn' Pigeon badly needed in my garden.

Case · June 20, 2012

Until recently, our garden had been a refuge for birds (no, not that kind) of many varieties, pecking their way through seeds, insects etc, and merrily chirping their way through many a morning... Now, these peaceful, harmless little 'Mexicans' have been bullied out of their state of avian grace by a bunch of b*****d Magpies, with 'Eli Wallach' Magpie clearly directing operations. These feckers have basically bullied the poor little b******s all over the shop, kicking them up the a***, stealing their food, stealing their chick Dunnocks to retrain as Magpies and squawking in their bird equivalent of ears.

This morning, this jet black crow/raven (I'm no bloody expert) attacks two of the Magpies and sends them packing. To me, I had a mild hangover, this crow looked the spitting image of Yul Brynner. A few minutes later, the Magpies were back, kicking more Finch/Robin a*** than usual.

Now, it's blatantly obvious to me - What my garden needs is a 'James Coburn' pigeon, a 'Charlie Bronson' thrush and at least four others to join 'Yul Brynner' crow and get these Magpies out of the garden for good, and let the little birds live in peace.

I'd be VERY surprised if some of you lot weren't twichers in disguise - so, with an amnesty from all posters of any ridicule if you 'out' yourselves as such, any advice as to how to address this pressing problem?

Thanks in advance, etc....

Case

The Hitman · June 20, 2012

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