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Eurovision watch

charlie clown

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Come on - who else is watching?


Engelbert wasn't quite the car crash I was expecting though he had me worried on some of eth high niotes.


Hungary was a non-entity.


The Albanian wench on now is a Bjork wannabe but looks more like Bob Hoskins. Not a winner.

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Not got that far here yet - my daughter paused it when she nipped out the room for few minutes.]


The blindfolded Lithuanian c*** who was just on was proper s****. And he had the nerve to use an Elvis Jailhouse Rock style background.


This Bosnian lass who was on just now was proper lovely.


The Russian grannies are on now. f*** yeah, this is what Eurovision is for.


A bunch of dull/earnest Icelanders - nah, not good.


Cyprus on now, clubby euro-disco - the singer looks alright from a distant but a bit chix with dix closer up.

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The French lass is pwopah gawjus but her singing has a touch of the Chers about it which is not great.


Next up Italy - According to Norton she's a lot like Winehouse - not true: more like a Lidl version of Gabriella Cilmi and her singing was a bit wonky even then.


Estonia - more over-emoting tedium from a dullard who like really means it.

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Norway with a gross, judgement of the sort of shoite we're supposed to have for Eurovision, He looks a right twunt n all.


And now our hosts - a woman who seems to be suffering simultaneously from an overdose of botox on her face and a massive breast reduction - I've got bigger t*** than she has. Not sure what that has to do with anything. The song was gash.


Romania - moonwalking and mad trumpets. A winner. And a woman with a great figure but a head that looks fourteen sizes too small for the rest of her.

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Just started watching. Have there been any footage of opposition activists being beaten and imprisoned in one of those look how lovely our country is in between song videos yet?

No; they won't show that.

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Greece - a little cutey but off key singing. Head shaking frenzy.


Denmark(?) - dull as ditch water. Ellie Goulding-esque. Yes, that bad.


Sweden - being bigged up but pretty ordinary.


Turkey - mental. Mad as cheese. Perfect Eurovision.


Spain - over the top warbling. Nah.


Germany - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........

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This Ukraine one is the most catchy. You can imagine it winning.


Norton has just said everything I was going to say about it.


Is this fella from Moldova a poacher or gamekeeper. What's with the plus four style trousers and that leather a*** apron ?

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Malta - has the Euro formula right I think; upbeat pop with a big chorus that Germans will enjoy singing to when they're pissed. What kind of cockpiece wears only one glove though?


Macedonia - autumnal and melancholic opening. But w***. And the rest of it is worse.


Ireland - Jedward. The only time I've ever seen them make sense. That's how fecked up this thing is.

Edited by charlie clown
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Serbia - looks like a French farmer - far too maudling to get any significant support I should think.


Ukraine - hateful music but will have numpties buying in in droves. The woman looks more like she lives on a South Seas island than in the Ukraine through


Moldova - best backing vocalists of the night by a mile but the hoop of a singer looks like he models himself on Midge Ure. Hmmm. A bouncy tune and bouncy bumpers in the singers/dancers.

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