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Fulham Imaginary Match Thread 18/12 (3PM Kick Off)


Flight

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Confirmed team in full :

 

 

GK : Brad 'Safe Hands' Jones (Pepe couldn't pursuade Hodgson to play him)

 

DF : Aurelio - fat chance it's really PFK (if his mum lets him come out to play)

DF : Soto 'The Kurgan' Kyrigyriakos, doesn't need to go for the ball just growls at the oppos

DF : Was going to be Skrtel but (f*** off) Purslow has told Hodgson he has to play Carra

DF : GloJo, tied to the corner flag by a 30 ft rope to stop him becoming too adventurous

 

 

Right MF : Meireles, because Hodgson is the only person on Merseyside that doesn't know his best position

 

MF : Poulsen (capt)

MF : Lucas 'glad I didn't listen to (f*** off) Purslow says Hodgson' Leiva

MF : not playing anyone here in case Sammy Lee fancies a knock

 

Left MF : Joke Hole as he's obviously a winger

 

Forward : Nando yes a waste of his time but he wanted to get out of the house and get a bit of peace from the baby and the post natal missus

Edited by Flight
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Tannoy plays Roy's new version of YNWA, it's "You might walk alone, of course if you didn't walk alone it would be a utopia, it would be a shame if once you saw the golden sky all that was talked about was that you walked alone"

 

I don't think it will catch on.

 

any spares knocking about for this?

 

Konchesky, Poulsen, Jovanovic, Babel. That enough?

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Madness.

 

The players are out on the pitch for the pre match kick about and Riley has awarded a penalty against Brad Jones for handball in the area five minutes before kick off. Can someone tell him Jones is the GK ?

 

 

Kocheskys mum is running onto the pitch to take the pen...

 

She's just pulled out a marker pen and written, 'Take that you scouse c****', on the ball before putting it into the onion bag past Jones, who couldn't decide which way to face. He was facing the crowd by mistake; the ball bounced off his a*** and the crossbar before going into the back on the ent.

 

 

0-1 Fulham. Surely Hodgson will have to have the team on attack after this nightmare start.

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Poulsen has scored 5 seconds from the restart. Unfortunately, it's in his own goal.

 

 

Lucas takes the kick off to Nando, Nando sees Poulsen running forward and feeds him through. Poulsen is one on one with the Fulham keeper and instead of shooting chooses to pass it back to Jones, the length of the pitch. Unfortunately, Jones is in the crowd asking if anyone knows where the goal is so the ball rolls into an empty net.

 

 

0-3 Fulham. Imaginary Hodgson has just rubbed his imaginary a*** with his imaginary hand and smelt it.

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