The canvas bag

[Guest sniffer]

Man goes into a bar in New York, orders a beer and plonks a canvas bag on the counter. Bartender gives him the beer, whereupon the man dips into his bag and puts a nine inch man on the counter, then dips into the bag again and comes out with a tiny grand piano. Then dips into the bag once more and brings out a little piano stool. He puts the little man on the stool who promptly plays the most amazing Mozart and Chopin you could wish to hear. The bartender stares in amazement. "Where did you get him from?" The man dips into his bag again and comes out with a magic lamp. "Rub this lamp and find out," he suggests. The bartender rubs the lamp and hey presto! A puff of smoke and a genie appears.

"You have one wish and one wish only," the genie declares. The bartender rubs his hands and says "right, I wish for a million bucks," whereupon the genie disappears in another puff of smoke.

A duck comes waddling into the bar, followed by another one, and yet another and suddenly the bar is packed out with ducks. "Jeez, I asked for a million bucks and it looks like I got a million ducks in here," cries the bartender. "I think that genie was a little deaf!"

The man looks at him and says, "No s***! And do you really think I asked for a nine inch pianist?"